Too much. Do you recognize that? When you’re head is running overtime, you have so much work to do, the kids have holidays and you feel guilty for leaving them with the babysit (who truly is an angel but still), you want to see friends, do your sports and the pile of wash is rising like the sun although not that bright…Well, it’s one of those days. So the only thing I can do then is to create space. And thus I did. I cancelled diner with a good friend tonight of whom I really want to hear her stories, but when my head is full, I can’t offer her the attention she deserves, so it will not have the result we both want it to have.
Now of course this is not the first time and it is surely not gonna be the last (although my husband would love that as he hates it when I’m stressed like that and honestly, I’m not that fun being around then). And this is a recurring pattern for me. So what am I going to do about it? Trust that where I am now is ok? That that is exactly where I should be? It does calm me down. It does create space. Now my husband and I are like Yin and Yang. The opposite. Hardly ever I catch him worried or stressed out. ‘It’s not all that bad…’ I can hear him say. And he is absolutely right. But it’s funny how mainly the smallest things can become huge obstacles in our minds. All created by ourselves. A good friend taught me to just look up, look up to the sky and realize we are so incredibly tiny within this great universe….It still helps me to put things in perspective.
So why is it, that we have learned ourselves these weird patterns, of just moving on, when you know you actually can’t. Sometimes I just don’t realize I am steaming on like a locomotive, not noticing my freight is becoming way to heavy to handle and the only way to feel better is to slow down and….Look up!
So hi new day, here I come!