Losing control….a good thing?
So…I used to be a person who was pretty well organized. Always everything planned, at work as well as private. Children’s clothes ready for the next day by the time they went to bed, breakfast on the table for the next morning, keeping a clean house, keeping up with the laundry (except for the ironing, I hate ironing), a household in which to my perception everything was quite well organized. Organizing stuff at the primary school of the kids, working for my clients and delivering at the right deadlines, always everything under control. Or…was that just an illusion?
Lately it seems like I have to hand over control. I have to let go and see what happens and take it from there, instead of arranging everything ahead. The problem here is, that I have a lot of difficulties in leaving things up to others, as there seems to be no trust from my side that things will be done correctly, or…better said..my way. I have to let my control go, to make others flourish and find their own way. Because by my wish to control everything, I take away the possibility for others to create their own rhythm in doing things. And at the same time, my life can’t possibly take on it’s course if I keep trying to control things…
Having control is something that gives peace of mind. Having done your complete ‘to do list’ in a day, makes most people (me too by the way) feel very satisfied. Now may I ask you, what was on your to-do-list today that made you smile? That gave you a feeling of happiness? Or that gave you a smile from another person in return? And if you write down your ‘thank you’ notes at night, is any of those things on either lists the same?
So the question is where this sense of control comes from. Is it real? Or just an illusion? What happens if we start the day, trying to create as many ‘thank you’ moments on your list at the end of the day instead of working the other way around? Just the thought of it makes me happy! It would mean we’d only create ‘well done’ lists at the end of the day, instead of a list that shows you you haven’t done enough today. Whereas you’ve probably done other things that were even more relevant. So…this blogpost was one of the first things today on my to do list and it will for sure appear on my thank you list too! It made me smile. Thank you!